Hoppy Holidays, from Carl the UB Kangaroo!

Hi folks, we’re back with Carl the Carlson Hall kangaroo to talk about the joy of the season. 

WK: Carl, you just finished your first semester at UB as an English major.  How’d it go?

Carl: It was great.  I learned a lot.  Did you know that there’s a book called Leaves of Grass?

WK: Isn’t it like poems or something?

Carl: It’s a long book of poems by a guy named Walt Whitman, and it actually tasted really good.

WK: You ate the book?

Carl: My final project was a kind of food review.  I found Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman to be robust with a piquant umami foundation, notes of glue and cardboard, and a fruity aftertaste.  It left me feeling fulfilled, but also hungry for more. 

WK: What are you going to do over the holiday break?  Going back to the outback?

Carl: No way.  Grass might taste good, and it might make good poetry, but it’s not very entertaining to be surrounded by.  Back home, we spend most of our time posing for tourists.  I’m staying on campus with some squirrels that I befriended in Seaside Park.  We’re going to eat Jamaican food, taunt the tigers at the Beardsley Zoo, and maybe BASE jump off the candy-striped smokestack before they demolish it, or maybe as they demolish it, if we get really lucky.  You know, basic Bridgeport stuff.  In fact, I invited my family to come here and spend the holidays with me and the squirrels.  I went on Amazon and ordered a holiday meal for us, too.  We’re gonna start off with Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut, then we’ll move on to Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs (Don’t judge us – we’re kangaroos), and then The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck and for dessert, Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes.

WK: Bon appétit, Carl.  That’s all the time we have today.

Carl: God bless us everyone!